Let's all have an awesome year

My thoughts are wondering around and I'm sitting here observing them and taking notes.

I don't have a soul.
I am a soul wondering through the Universe in a beautiful, complex body.

I wish people would say to eachother what they really feel, what they really want. It's so damn easy.


Why do we make our world so complicated? It could be the most beautiful place in the Universe.

People love eachother, it's our nature to love and feel compassion for every living been. And yet, we fight and destroy ourselves soooo much! Why do we do this? Why is it so hard for us to forget about our ego and concentrate on our spirit?
We love things and use people, instead of doing it the other way around.

The moment I understood that I actually don't need anything they sell or advertise, I was free. I could hear myself breathing and thinking and smiling and enjoying the world I had around me and everything at the same time. I realised I've been dreaming this whole time, I was walking in their world with my eyes closed, without letting myself go wild, without being free. I wouldn't dare to let myself feel too much or say too much. They told me I'm not allowed to speak of the things I believe in, I'm not allowed to feel love for the people around the world. I was afraid because I believed them. I was terrified.

This morning, I opened my eyes and I said to myself  " I'm not afraid anymore". They couldn't do anything, because "they" didn't  existed anymore in my reality.

I opened my bedroom window, enjoyed the sun and felt the love.
From this moment on, my life will never be the same again.

I started to learn how to laugh more, I quit smoking, I don't eat meat anymore, I trained myself to feel things I didn't know existed before. I felt alive and it was the only thing I always wanted.
I'm not gonna lie and tell you it was easy.  It was the most difficult thing I did in my life , because waking up and realising the world I lived in, is a big piece of crap, was hard and it hurt alot because until now, it was everything I knew.

And then, along the road, I met you and I felt loved again. I felt the Universe trying to tell me that I deserve to be happy again. I deserve to start all over and do everything I ever could to make this world a bit more beautiful than it was before. I know it's hard to change a whole world, but let me tell you something I learned.

I began to love my family, my boyfriend and my friends in another way. I was nice to them, instead of playing stupid mind games and trying to be in the centre of attention the whole time.
I started doing small, cute things for them, I started saying "i love you with all my heart" more often. And I was honest. I felt I have a great amount of love within me and I have to share it with all the people that surrounded me. And it worked ! The moment I changed my attitude, everything changed.
Everybody was smiling back at me, everybody saw inside my soul, not inside my decolletage.
I had a good vibe around me and I was happy.

I understand now that every single problem I have, I'm the only one who can solve it. I'm responsible for everything that happens to me ( not nature related - or maybe... who knows?)

I let the Universe in my veins, in my sistem.
The Universe is within me and I am the Universe.

Love everyone around you, spread peace and joy and you will see that everything will be just fine.

The moon rises while I think of you

There is no good or bad with you.

When I'm with you I feel whole again.
I feel I can connect with the Universe, I can see things clearly, I understand the meaning of love, of life itself.
I connect with you through my thoughts.
You bring out what's best in me, even when I'm down.
You make me rise when my feet are in muddy water. You're the reason I can shine everyday.

I could never forget the way I feel when you're around...
Or when I think of you, of your bright smile or soft skin, the tenderness in your voice every morning, the light in your eyes every night before falling asleep next to me, your kindness and your innocence.

I could never stop loving you.
I could never stop needing you so badly, because we were created from the same stardust and without you, I would be just normal dust floating around without being able to feel the beauty that life has to offer. Without you, I would be wondering around trying to find a purpose for this life, but I would never succeed.
Without you, I would be empty on the inside, I would let all kind of demons taking advantage of my spirit, because I didn't know until now how it feels to be truly loved by such an amazing soul like you.

You are the reason my eyes are happy all the time and my heart is full of love and joy.

You are my connection with the Universe, you are my everything.

And now, I finally understand what I really want to do with my life.
I want to spend the rest of my life, making you happy because you deserve the best.
I want to be the reason you wake up every morning feeling alive.

You know I'm madly in love with you.

Your lips are touching mine and all stars shine upon us like they never did before.

I love to feel your arms around me. It makes me feel warm. 

It makes my soul happy

Take me.
I am yours forever.

Midnight thoughts

Don’t fall in love with a curious one.

They will want to know who you are, where you come from, what your family was like.

They will look through your photographs and read all of your poems. They will come over for dinner and speak to your mother about how their curiosity has taught them things of use to her. They will ask you to rant when you’re angry and cry when you’re hurt.

They will ask what that raised eyebrow meant. They will want to know your favorite food, your favorite color, you favorite person. They will ask why.

They will buy that camera you liked, pay attention to that band you love in case there’s a show near by, they will get you the sweater you smiled at once. They’ll learn to cook your favorite meals.

The curious people don’t settle for your shell, they want the insides.

They want what makes you heavy, what makes you uneasy, what makes you scream

for joy, and anger, and heartbreak.

Their skin will turn into pages

that you learn to pour out your entire being in.

Don’t fall in love with the curious one.

They won’t let a sigh go unexplained.

They will want to know what they did

Exactly what they did to make you love them.

Year, month, week, day.

“What time was it? What did I say? What did I do?

How did you feel?”

Don’t fall in love with a curious one because I’ve been there.

They will unbutton your shirt

and read every scar

every mark

every curve.

They will dissect your every limb, every organ, every thought, every being.


“There’s a curiosity in you that will move mountains some day

as effortlessly as you’ve moved me for years.”






—

Don’t Fall In Love With The Curious One

Story of my life

Tu îi spui vreodată cuiva ce e în sufletul tău cu adevărat?

Nu.
Nimeni nu o face.

Nu te-am uitat.
Mi-a fost teribil de dor de tine, dar timpul zboara atat de repede.
Nu mai am timp, fuge de mine.
Acum in sfarsit l-am prins si il strang in brate.
Aaaaahhhh, ramai!

Imi place de tine asa.

Uda, goala, cu parul ciufulit.

Bine ai revenit.

Lalele mov si trandafiri albi.
Duminica perfecta.

Miroase a prajitura cu mere.
Eu beau vin alb, tu conduci. Eu stau in dreapta si rad.
Sunt putin beata si imi place.
Te iubesc mai mult ca niciodata,

Esti cea mai frumoasa parte din mine.
Vom ajunge departe,

Tine-ma strans de mana, acceleram, decolam.

Sus, sus, sus, suuuuus de tot. Acolo vreau.
Doar acolo stiu sa fiu eu.


Sa nu mai pleci niciodata asa de mult.
Nu stiu ce sa ma fac fara tine.


Aici pot fi oricine, oricand.

Mai revin si alta data.

Am uitat ce bine e sa fii liber.


Vreau sa raman.
Dar acum, plec.

No one tells you that you'll feel delirious at times. That you'll eat fast food. That your garden will go untended. That your house will be a mess. That you'll schedule your life around bottle feedings.

No one tells you that you'll shower with the curtain open, do silly dances, sing songs about diapers and their contents. That you'll eat while sitting on the kitchen floor, clear out indescribables between fingers and folds, clip nails in haste while she's sleeping.

No one tells you just how much laundry you'll do, how many bottles you'll wash, how many diapers you'll change. How much formula you'll buy, how many wipes you'll fly through.

No one tells you just how much you'll love her, how you'll sacrifice everything for her, how you'll suddenly understand the meaning of priceless.

No one tells you how much you'll grow, how you'll realize that you were recently so self-absorbed.

No one tells you how many times you'll kiss her feet, smell her hair, check on her while she's sleeping. How tightly she'll hold your hand, how you'll admire her every gesture. No one tells you that you won't mind when she spits up on you, pees on you, screams in your ear, wakes you up at 2:30 a.m.. That she'll get sick for a month. That she'll have diarrhea for days. That she'll suddenly refuse to drink her bottle. That she'll get a stubborn diaper rash.

No one tells you that she'll turn book pages with her feet, that her favorite toy will be a stuffed octopus. That she'll love bath time, that she'll hate tummy time, that she'll try to eat everything. That she'll rarely sit still, that she'll love to reach for her feet, inspect your hands. That she'll be very talkative, morning, noon and night.

No one tells you that she'll freeze time with her eyes, with her smile, with her existence. And yet, life will be a blur.

To those who haven't yet had their little one, let me tell you: It will be. It will be a crazy, beautiful, precious, once-in-a-lifetime blur. Take pictures. Take deep breaths. Laugh it off. Let it go. Be silly. Be open. Be strong. Be brave. Be patient. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Ask for help. Take things one day at a time. Embrace every moment. Let your world turn upside-down. And enjoy the ride.

Welcome back

Ce bine ca te-ai intors.

Imi era dor sa te vad cum stai si asculti muzica si zambesti. Iti imaginezi cum o sa arati peste 10 ani, cum o sa se joace copii tai in gradina, cum o sa iti bei cafeaua in fiecare dimineata langa el.

E asa de bine sa stiu ca ai din nou ceva ce te motiveaza, ceva ce te face sa iti doresti sa fii fericita.

Imi place sa vad ca esti in sfarsit fericita si atat de entuziasmata de tot ce se intampla in viata ta.

Dar de data asta, e o fericire diferita.

Nu trebuie sa te chinui sa faci nmic, totul merge de la sine, soarele straluceste in sfarsit si in ochii tai.

Si el, cu buzele lui perfecte, sta si te astepta in asternuturi albe.Geamul este larg deschis si se pot auzi valurile.

Acum, poti si tu sa te intinzi langa el in pat, sa te uiti la tavan, sa nu scoti nici un cuvant , dar sa fie bine.
Sa fiti amandoi fericiti, sa nu mai fie nevoie de nimic.

Aveti nevoie doar unul de celelalt.

Si nimic altceva nu va mai conta.


Tu ii vei spune in fiecare dimineata ca il iubesti si el te va saruta cu ochii inchisi, in timp ce o raza de soare se furiseaza printre nori si bate usor in geam.

Ma bucur ca te-ai intors si te rog sa nu mai pleci niciodata.